I live in Texas, so you will understand when I say I do not follow the Seattle Seahawks. I’ve never been to Washington State. In fact, the closest I’ve come to anything related to Seattle is watching umpteen “Fraiser” episodes. So it may surprise you when I say I’ve fallen in love with the parents of fullback Derrick Coleman, but it’s true.
You may recall a moving Duracell commercial that aired a year ago when Seattle was preparing for last year’s Super Bowl. It featured the first-ever, legally deaf NFL player, Derrick Coleman Jr. and advocated trusting the power within to overcome obstacles. As I dried my tears, my curiosity sparked. This success required support and powerful narratives. I had to know more about his parents.
Derrick Coleman Sr. is a writer and a quieter soul. May Hamlin, Derrick Jr.’s mom, is more vocal, calling herself “very opinionated.” I found her to be warm, articulate and a passionate advocate.
When they received the diagnosis of Derrick’s deafness at age three, May admits, “I was heartbroken.” Derrick Sr. said, “We went through thoughts, ‘How do we deal with this? What kind of life will he have?’ Our heads were spinning.”1 Pushing aside their grief, they tapped into their courage and set out to help their son. May went to work on Derrick’s lagging verbal skills by engaging him in lots of conversation. They resolved that, despite his challenge, not to treat Derrick differently. And they adopted a “no excuses” policy where hearing could never be made the culprit.
Life in elementary school added more heart-wrenching challenges for the couple. May shared that some of the toughest moments were watching Derrick walk with his head down because no one wanted to play with him or eat with him because of his hearing aids.3 She added, “You try to be calm and hold it together for your child, but inside its tearing you up. But you don’t want to show that…You want to tell them it’s gonna be okay. You can get through this.”5 May equipped her son with a powerful response: Derrick remembers, “My mom always said people who make fun of you and try to bring you down…They’re trying to bring you down to their level.”4
In the midst of these trials, Derrick took a liking to football and wanted to try out for his local Pop Warner team. Afraid he might further damage his hearing, Derrick Sr. did not immediately agree, but Derrick Jr persisted until his dad finally gave in. May knew if her son was going to succeed, she would need to “put my all into it.” And she did, innovating ways to keep his hearing aids in and more.
And what happened? At first seeing Derrick play, his father recalls, “I was like, ‘Wow this kid can play football’. I would be running up and down the field right alongside with him…and started to feel…‘Hey, he has something.” 2 Yet critics filled the bleachers. May revealed, “I couldn’t sit around people in fear that they would say something negative about his hearing. [Derrick] knew exactly where I sat, all the way at the top, all alone by myself.”2
Derrick excelled at UCLA and hoped to be drafted in 2012. But coaches could not see past his hearing challenges. “It still hurts, as a mom.” But things changed when the Seahawks gave him a chance in 2013 and he went on to help them win the Super Bowl.
May and Derrick Sr. set out to help their child realize his dream—it’s what parents do. What they did not anticipate is the legacy they have created: Derrick’s story has inspired hundreds of physically and mentally challenged children to dream. Looking at the hope in the eyes of these kids and hearing the narratives they have borrowed from Derrick to combat bullies and spur themselves on with No Excuses, nearly brings me to tears. It’s beautiful.
I doubt I will ever have the privilege of meeting Derrick or May, but if I ever do, I would ask them where they learned their narratives, for like those that I weave throughout my books, they are empowering, but rare, and don’t just pop out of thin air.
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Sources:
View the Duracell commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzQFA2hxyRQ
1 http://articles.latimes.com/2008/oct/17/sports/sp-coleman17
2 http://abled.com/2014/01/18/abledpeople-derrick-coleman-the-seattle-seahawks-fullback-who-s-inspiring-a-generation-of-deaf-fans/
3 http://www.adayinmotherhood.com/derrick-coleman/
4 http://www.cbsnews.com/news/deaf-nfl-player-derrick-coleman-inspires-on-and-off-the-field/
5 http://www.examiner.com/article/interview-derrick-coleman-s-mom-may-hamlin-on-parenting-bullying-power-within
What a powerful testimony to a parents love. My friend raised a child with serious issues with fluid on his brain and he underwent many surgeries. Her mother in law chastised her expecting the boy to follow rules and not cut him any slack because, “what if he dies she asked”? I have never forgotten her answer “But what if he lives? I have to prepare him for that”
Well said! I so love the philosophy these parents employed. What an encouragement to other parents in the thick of things.
That’s a wonderful story of faith and trust in one another, plus plenty of hard work and innate talent. Thank you. I don’t know if you’re a fan of This American Life, but they did a piece recently about a blind child whose mother refused to raise him as blind. Now a young man, he “sees” through very accurate echolocation, making it possible for him to hike, ride a bike, climb trees, etc. He has also started an organization to teach others who want to learn to echolocate the way he does.
Cynthia, that’s awesome! I was not aware of the example you mention, but I so respect these parents who refuse to coddle their children and take away any possibility for them to ever live a “normal” and full life. What a legacy… *feels*
That’s awesome! 😀
Awesome and inspiring story!
I enjoyed reading your tribute to Derrick Coleman’s parents. Some of the most bravest people I have ever met were parents of hearing impaired and deaf children when I learned my daughter was deaf. They taught me alot and helped me decide to get a cochlear implant for our daughter. One of the parents in our group, Tom Westman, a NYC fireman went on to win Survivor on CBS. My daughter was also part of the No Limits Theater group which helped her develop confidence and courage to persue her dreams. My deaf daughter Liz is now studying film production and acting at Columbia College in Chicago. Thanks for telling Derrick Coleman’s inspirational story of overcoming obstacles to compete in the NFL.
Linda, thank you so much for sharing your story. What an inspiration! It’s awesome to see how some folks start with disadvantages, but that just seems to focus their energies and fuel their success. What an example!